I hate the Grimm brothers.
I really do.
They screwed up my life.
The story tellers created an image of who Snow White should be and how she should behave.
Well. I’m Snow White. The future queen of this stupid place. And I’m nothing like the sweet well-mannered princess of the Fairy tales. I’m a certified badass: more “sex, drugs and rock& roll”.
The Brothers Grimm got it all very wrong. Real life here is definitely not suitable for children, so they censored what they saw, changed the stories. Invented parts. And now we’re stuck with an impossible image to live up to.
Fairyland is about as far removed from the Grimm’s stories as a kingdom can be. Things are not what you’ve been led to believe: The Wolves are really sweet and not to forget unbelievably hot. Pinocchio is not made of wood, though part of him does expand when he lies. And don’t start me on the Pigs, they are a major pain in the butt.
Thanks to the fairy tales my life was preordained. I was the future queen. I had to behave. Yeah well, if you know me, you know that’s not going to happen.
So I worked it out.
…Sort of.
This is the real story.
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